I could be misjudging due to the recency of the horror, but NCIS Los Angeles might be the worst television pilot ever aired, where they actually went on to air the series.
Acid, Ecstasy, all these other rave drugs - none can explain the . . . televised object that is NCIS Los Angeles.
First, it's obvious that it was originally NCIS San Diego, where there actually is a naval base and, as shown in a random scene in this totally random (like, even more random than the gummi bear aliens in Space Chimps) show, "Fleet Week."
How do they pay off Entertainment Weekly? Pretty well, obviously! NCIS - the original - did great in its season premiere. The sequel/spinoff, NCIS Los Angeles, also got good ratings, but I wonder how many suicides it caused among unwary continuing viewers. I thought this LA Times review was going to recount the plot in its favorable review - but no. It didn't! That's because WTF??? They used to pay people off in the 60's and 70's for sure, but . . . ???
A quote, "Writer and executive producer Shane Brennan has worked on "NCIS" for years; he knows what he's doing and how to do it well; the casting is solid, the crimes international. What's not to like?"
LOL! How about - it doesn't make SENSE and it's obvious it was supposed to be in San Diego? How about, I can't remember a single character's name except the initial "G" for the Chris O'Donnell character? How about, I can tell L.L. Cool J would be good and is a talented actor trying mightly to overcome a retarded script and dialog that is less sensical than the SyFy Channel version of Flash Gordon?
These Naval Criminal Intelligence Service (NCIS) agents work out of what I think is the San Antonio Winery or something very similar. They park right at the doorstep of a "secret" entrance that is basically someone's Larchmont or WeHo home. Then they walk in, and it's suddenly the "winery"-cum-NCIS HQ. This individual depicted above is Oscar-winning actress Linda Hunt, who has portrayed many roles brilliantly. Considering Linda is playing Edith Head, the assistant "Q" to L.L. Cool J and Chris McDonnell (who seriously, there is no real way to tell or remember their names - the good black actor who's trying to survive, and the hapless white guy who has to explain he has only a letter for a name and it isn't like "M", "Q", 007 - or Gibbs) - she does an awesome job.
This is the kind of show where the NCIS quartermaster (that's what "Q" stands for in the Bond stories) rolls out the wardrobe rack right off the wardrobe truck and dresses the "main" character we are supposed to "feel for."
OK, look, in the opening scene, the bullet hole in this guy's back looked like a giant zit to me. And the show did not go uphill from there.
These writers should be taken outdoors and given the "Weird Al" Amish Paradise treatment. Something - anything. All I can suggest is that they might want to try the CSI-Miami alternate universe. This was so bad I want to die. Worst TV episode I have ever seen. Poor L.L. Cool J. He is a good actor - he would be a great addition to the original NCIS - fantastic, sometimes outlandish, but at least you can tell what is going on!!! Ducky, I think this one's DOA.